Trauma Victims Aren't The Ones At Fault

When I decided to get help for depression as well as other psychiatric issues back in 2000, I knew that some people who've been victimized, such as victims of rape, assault, etc. blamed what happened to them on themselves.  However, I didn't realize that so many victims blamed themselves until I went into group therapy back then.


For years, I've wondered how someone could have something traumatic happen to them caused by their victimizer or victimizers, who did something terrible to them on purpose, yet it's somehow the victims fault?


Sounds strange to me.


Unfortunately, many people in our society in the U.S. think that if one or more victimizers does something terrible to a victim on purpose, that it's partially the victims fault.  And that's part of why so many victims think it's their fault.


But this kind of thinking doesn't make sense to me.  To me it's completely the victimizers fault because they're the ones who decided to do something bad to someone innocent.  They made that choice.  And the victimizer is the criminal, not the victim.

Why Have A Fear Of Flying? I Don't!

Some people are frightened to death over just the thought of flying as a passenger in a plane or jet, even though they say that the chances of getting killed or seriously maimed are higher by being a driver or a passenger in a vehicle on the road.


But many others like myself aren't afraid of flying at all.


So how do folks like me stay calm and unafraid while flying in a jet thirty thousand feet or so above ground?


I don't know about other people.  However, I can speak for myself.


I just tell myself that the chances of getting killed or hurt in a plane accident are lower than getting into an accident in a car, truck, or van.  I'm not afraid of driving a vehicle or being a passenger in a vehicle.  So why should I be afraid of flying when it's even safer than being in a moving vehicle on the highway or on side streets?


This kind of thinking works for me.  And if you have a fear of flying, maybe this type of thinking could work for you as well.

Volunteering At A Nursing Home Isn't Depressing

Many people I know believe that spending time by visiting residents as a volunteer at a nursing home is too depressing and too uncomfortable.


I don't blame those who feel this way.


However, I do not feel that nursing homes are sad places to work as a volunteer.


The thing is, you have to view it at as an opportunity to help people.  And their is nothing sad about that.


Working at a nursing home, either as a paid employee or as a volunteer, isn't for everybody.  I understand that.  But if you look at spending time at a nursing home facility as something that's worthwhile, then you'll likely feel good about helping residents at nursing homes.   After all, putting a smile on a resident's face really can make it all worthwhile.


So if you're reluctant about the idea of volunteering at a nursing home, I say give it a shot.  You just might find it to be anything but depressing.

There's Lots Of People Out There Who Help Others

Years ago, for several months, I volunteered at a soup kitchen as a cook.  I enjoyed cooking there, especially since I had an interest in becoming a chef for a restaurant or hotel someday.


My supervisor, the kitchen manager at the soup kitchen, knew I liked my job there and also knew that I had a desire to become a full-fledged chef one day.


So after volunteering there for a couple of months, she decided to go ahead and write a letter of reference for me for when I were to apply to work as a cook or chef for a restaurant or hotel in the future.  In the letter, she mentioned that although I had a lot to learn about the art of cooking, I worked hard and had a positive attitude.


But as nice as it was for her to write the letter of reference, it was even nicer because I never asked her to write the letter of reference.  Instead, she just went ahead and did it.  That was nice on her part.  And it showed that she really cared about people like myself and enjoyed helping others.


So yes, there are folks out there, like this lady, who really do care.  We should all remember that.

Please Keep Your Dog(s) On A Leash

Do you own a dog and want to help people in your neighborhood?  Here's how: keep your dog(s) on a leash.


In the town I live in, we have laws that clearly state that all dogs that are outside in their owners yards must have a leash on them in order to keep other citizens safe, to keep other people from getting bit by a dog.


However, not all dog owners abide by these laws.


First of all, if your walking in a neighborhood and one or more large dogs comes up to you, dogs you've never seen before and aren't familiar with, it can be rather intimidating and nerve wracking - even if the dogs are friendly.  The  thing is, you're not going to know if these dogs are friendly or mean if you've just met them for the first time.


Sometimes a dog will come up to you in which you feel threatened, and the owner will shout out to you, "Don't worry, he's friendly."


But just because the owner says that is no guarantee that the dog won't bite you or assault you.


A couple of years ago, my dad was walking around his neighborhood to get some exercise.  And a couple of unfamiliar dogs came up to him.  The owner said to my father, "They're friendly!"  Then the next thing my dad knew, one of the dogs bit him, even though they were unprovoked.


So with this all said, if you own one or more dogs, do the rest of us a big, fat, favor and keep your dogs on a leash.  Doing so isn't difficult, and it's the right thing to do.

Find Out If You Can Buy Something Expensive At A Cheaper Rate First

When you're shopping for something expensive, such as a new vehicle, do your homework before purchasing what it is your looking for.  Find out how much it'll cost and do everything you can to get the best deal.


Years ago, a friend of mine bought a brand new truck.  He paid way to much for it.  I asked him why he paid as much as he did when he could've purchased the same truck for less money at another auto dealer.  He told me the reason was because he didn't know that he was paying too much money because he didn't know he could get the same thing for less.


So I asked him, "If you didn't know, then why didn't you find that out before you bought your truck?"


He didn't know what to say.  He realized that I was right.


If you're looking to purchase something expensive, find out about getting what you want at the cheapest price before buying anything.  Not doing so can cost you a ton of money.

Not All People Who Rationalize That They Aren't At Fault Are Trying To Be Difficult

Some people are never wrong about anything.  They'll never admit it when it's their fault.  And that can be frustrating and unfair for the rest of us.


But some individuals who rarely or never admit that they're at fault aren't necessarily trying to be difficult.  Instead, they can't handle the fact that they're in the wrong.


Take a friend of mine as an example.  Years ago at a parking lot, she opened her car door right on this other person's brand new vehicle.  And when the other person got mad at her, my friend rationalized that the whole incident somehow wasn't her fault!


However, she didn't rationalize that it wasn't her fault to be difficult and unfair.  Instead, she rationalized because she couldn't handle the fact that she was at fault and that the other person with the brand new car had good reason to be mad at her.


I'm not saying that it's OK for some people to rationalize that nothing is ever their fault.  But many people who think they're never at fault just can't handle the truth, unfortunately.

Some Who Say They're Realistic Thinkers Aren't

Positive thinking can be a powerful tool in improving your life and making you happier, in general.


However, some people aren't believers in positive thinking.  Instead, they believe in being realistic.  They believe in being realistic thinkers.


In my opinion, being a realistic thinker, in of itself, isn't a bad thing.


But some people, I've noticed, who say they're realistic thinkers aren't.  Instead, they mostly see the bad parts of life.  I myself used to think like that.


To me, if you're going to be a realistic thinker, you must see both the bad in life, the good, and everything in between.  If you mostly see the negatives in your life and in the world, you're being a pessimist, not a realistic thinker.


Life and the world is not all wonderful.  However, it's not all bad either, not even close.